Far

by Shae on June 26, 2012

I moved to Melbourne in early 2001. I moved here to have a change from my hometown, see more bands and be with my new interstate boyfriend.

Truly. How cute were we?

I don’t regret moving here. In fact, I love living in Melbourne. I love my life here. It’s my home now. But there have been times that I feel far.

When my brother burned his hand so badly he ended up in hospital and needed skin grafts. When one of my best friend’s son had to be revived at birth and he was on life support while we waited to see if he would make it (he did, just). When I had both of my miscarriages. When the family dog we had since I was a teen had to be put to sleep. When my nieces and nephews were born and on every one of their birthdays. When Harper was a baby and yet to meet my family. When my Pop died.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the feeling of a sudden urgent need to be with my family. My blood.

That pang of homesickness that makes me want to dip my feet in the ocean at Burleigh Heads or eat my Mum’s pork fillets or watch my brother’s kids run around the pirate park.

I have these pictures pinned up on the cork board behind my computer. The picture above my family pic from a few years ago is of my Nan and her twin sister. This morning my Mum rang me in tears to tell me that her Auntie from that photo had passed away. She was 93 and she went peacefully in her sleep.

I had that familiar feeling of being seemingly a billion miles away and just wanting to give my Mum a hug. I want to hug my Nan too.

But I’m far.

And I’ll never grow to like this feeling.

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

edenland June 26, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Kajillion loves. So, so sorry hon.

Your nan and her sister are beautiful. xxx

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bigwords June 26, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Big love to you gorgeous xx

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Leonie June 26, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Sorry to hear of your loss. It is very hard to be away from family, especially during difficult times.
I miss my family so much and as much as we like living in Australia, and feel privileged to, I would give anything to be home with my family nearby, with the familiar that knows me so well.

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corrie June 26, 2012 at 10:04 pm

awwww that is such sad news. I think you’re doing so well living far away from home. I lasted almost 6 months in melbourne where hubby’s family is from and missed sydney so much. Made me realise I’m a sydney girl through and through but I know he misses his home town.

those photos are precious.

Corrie:)

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Rah June 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm

:(
i had a chance to move from sydney to the gold coast many years ago. the thing that kept me here was my family. they might drive me mad at times, but i just couldn’t leave them
big hugs for you beautiful one xx

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Jo @Countrylifeexperiment June 26, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I always find it hardest being away from my family during times like that. Thinking of you.

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carmen June 26, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Hugs, just hugs, hugs and more hugs. With some love, thoughts, strength and clarity added.
Go gently hon. xxx

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jody June 26, 2012 at 10:13 pm

So sorry for your loss Shae. It’s times like this you really feel the distance. I know exactly what you mean. I moved to Melbourne in 2000 for my interstate boyfriend too!! My heart aches for all the things I miss, but I would never leave Melbourne now.
Big hugs. xx

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Daisy June 26, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I’m sorry for your loss, Shae. All the love in the world. It is so hard to be away from your family, especially at times of joy and heartbreak. xxx

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Laney June 26, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Sorry for your family’s loss Shae. It’s hard being far. I’ve spent almost half my life living in a different country to at least one if my parents. Thinking of you. And yes you were both so cute in that photo!

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Deb @ Bright and Precious June 26, 2012 at 10:21 pm

So sorry to hear this news, Shae. Much love to you. I understand the ‘far’ feeling well. I understood every word of this post. x

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Renee | About a Bugg June 26, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Big hugs and love gorgeous girl xx

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Mrs Woog June 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Sweet girl, and your beautiful Great Aunt. Much love to you. Xx

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Christie-Childhood 101 June 26, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I remember this feeling keenly and think you are just so brave xx

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Sazz June 27, 2012 at 12:29 am

Sorry you’re so far xoxo

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Veronica June 27, 2012 at 8:14 am

Sending love and thinking of you. xxx

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Skyelee June 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I only live 10 minutes down the road from my parents, and 15 minutes from my sister, I don’t know how I’d cope some days without them. I’m sorry to hear that you lost someone so dear to you Shae, big hugs to you, and hopefully you get to venture ‘home’ soon. xxxx

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Denyse June 27, 2012 at 11:29 pm

So sorry Shae, to hear of your great aunt’s passing. Missing where you’ve lived and grown up is like a huge gaping hole at times ….hugs lovely ..hope you get back to Burleigh soon as you can..x

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Naomi June 28, 2012 at 10:28 am

I’m sorry Shae.

I get it. Being far, it sucks.

Thinking of you. x

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Jo June 30, 2012 at 8:11 am

Hugs to you, so sorry. I’m always far too…really far…it’s really hard xx (and you were incredibly cute, yes!)

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bek June 30, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I can relate as well.

*hugs* :(

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Clel July 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

Love and hugs, Shae, I can’t imagine how much you miss them :(

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Helen Strong July 2, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Shae, Luv you lots. Spoke to your mum tonight… Luv this blog about Nan xx

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