“Nice one you cock” I muttered as a young bogan alpha male cut me off in his bogan car. I am a mutterer of obscenities to crap drivers.
From the back seat Tannah pipes up “COCK! That’s a funny word! Why did you call that bogan a cock?” She is giggling and she already knows what a bogan is.
“Because he can’t drive” I reply
“But what is a cock? hahahah COCK”
I am already flustered from the crap driver encounter and I don’t really feel like having a big conversation about swearing and penises and words her grandmother doesn’t want to hear her say. I decide to go with the origin of the word and be done with it. I hope.
“It’s a rooster, a male chook is sometimes called a cock”
This amuses my big two hugely for some reason. There is loud laughter bordering on hysteria from the back seat.
“a COCK! You called that guy a ROOSTER! Because he’s a boy. Hey guy you’re a COCK!!”
It goes on. A discussion, between peals of laughter, goes on about how men are cocks.
“Daddy is a cock! When I get home I’m going to say hey COCK to daddy”
“OK stop” I say “cock can also mean something else, it’s a not nice word for penis. A swear word for penis”
Silence from the back seat.
Then Tannah starts to laugh and laugh and laugh. ROFLing, LOLing and PMSLing.
“That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! YOU CALLED THAT OTHER DRIVER A PENIS! He’s a PENIS!”
She can barely talk from the laughing. And then she is randomly shouting things like
“Hey ya PENIS! You’re a COCK! And I don’t mean ROOSTER”
“Hey ya VAGINA. You big CHICKEN!”
And I should be intervening, but I’m too busy trying not to run off the road because I’m laughing so hard.
I’m still waiting for my Mother of the year award…..
We did have a conversation later about swearing and why people don’t like being called cocks etc. She still thinks it’s hilarious.