Male roosters and crap drivers

by Shae on April 29, 2012

Image credit to Katepickle

 

“Nice one you cock” I muttered as a young bogan alpha male cut me off in his bogan car. I am a mutterer of obscenities to crap drivers.

From the back seat Tannah pipes up “COCK! That’s a funny word! Why did you call that bogan a cock?” She is giggling and she already knows what a bogan is.

“Because he can’t drive” I reply

“But what is a cock? hahahah COCK”

I am already flustered from the crap driver encounter and I don’t really feel like having a big conversation about swearing and penises and words her grandmother doesn’t want to hear her say. I decide to go with the origin of the word and be done with it. I hope.

“It’s a rooster, a male chook is sometimes called a cock”

WRONG ANSWER.

This amuses my big two hugely for some reason. There is loud laughter bordering on hysteria from the back seat.

“a COCK! You called that guy a ROOSTER! Because he’s a boy. Hey guy you’re a COCK!!”

It goes on. A discussion, between peals of laughter, goes on about how men are cocks.

“Daddy is a cock! When I get home I’m going to say hey COCK to daddy”

“OK stop” I say “cock can also mean something else, it’s a not nice word for penis. A swear word for penis”

Silence from the back seat.

Then Tannah starts to laugh and laugh and laugh. ROFLing, LOLing and PMSLing.

“That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! YOU CALLED THAT OTHER DRIVER A PENIS! He’s a PENIS!”

She can barely talk from the laughing. And then she is randomly shouting things like

“Hey ya PENIS! You’re a COCK! And I don’t mean ROOSTER”

and

“Hey ya VAGINA. You big CHICKEN!”

And I should be intervening, but I’m too busy trying not to run off the road because I’m laughing so hard.

I’m still waiting for my Mother of the year award…..

 

 

We did have a conversation later about swearing and why people don’t like being called cocks etc. She still thinks it’s hilarious.

 

 

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Glowless April 29, 2012 at 9:27 am

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you big PENIS!

Reply

Stacey April 29, 2012 at 9:42 am

Bwahahahaha!

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Jo @Countrylifeexperiment April 29, 2012 at 9:49 am

I’m ROFLing too. A friend of mines 1st word was the f*#%lol

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Jessica April 29, 2012 at 10:58 am

I literally have tears from laughing so hard! (We have had similar situations here, the worst when my eldest dropped the Jesus Bomb in front of a very religious grandfather!)

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katepickle April 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm

ha ha ha ha ha ha …. ha ha ha…

I feel so much better about telling my four year old that I was frying little penises for dinner the other night…. ha ha ha ha

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Rex April 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That IS hilarious…. Oh man, soooo funny. Don’t you just love kids! I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes……and that is what make the world go round. thankyou.

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Garden Pheenix April 29, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Aaaaaaaahahahahahaha. That is awesome and hilarious. Gotta love kids ^_^

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Kylie April 29, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Oh so hilarious, just glad it wasn’t me having to deal with it LOL
However, I did have to settle a debate amongst five year olds about gay marriage this week!

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Laney @ Crash Test Mummy April 29, 2012 at 7:18 pm

That reminds me, I need to wax my chicken . . .

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Christie-Childhood 101 April 29, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Funniest post ever! <3

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Caz (The Truth About Mummy) April 29, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Too funny. They say cock all the time of Top Gear and I’ve been waiting to have to explain it to my girls. (coz they watch it with their daddy – weird I know). I can just imagine it’s going to end up pretty much the same way :)

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Norlin April 29, 2012 at 8:50 pm

ROFL! Thanks for that! I can imagine what was going on in your car then. Gotta love the pure innocence of kids.

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carmen@musingnmayhem.com April 29, 2012 at 9:30 pm

OMG!! You borrowed my kids… didn’t you???
Welcome to my LIFE! ;)

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salz April 29, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Omg thats the funniest thing ive read.

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Jess {littlewildmoose} April 29, 2012 at 10:21 pm

This made me laugh so much! I even read it out to my husband. I can so imagine myself in this exact position in a few years time!!

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bek April 30, 2012 at 2:15 am

BAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA XD

Reply

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