by Shae on March 23, 2012

I’m fat. It might make some people uncomfortable to hear a woman describe herself like that because the word “fat” is usually a put down. Fat, when used as an adjective describing a person, has become synonymous with some really negative words like-lazy, ugly, smelly, stupid and disorganized. It is often assumed that fat people have no will power or have “let themselves go”, it even prejudices some people on the quality of a persons parenting or work ethic depending on their size. But the big one is health. If you are fat you are automatically unhealthy and any or all health issues are directly related to your weight, which is not always the case. Losing weight is the holy grail of health-regardless of how it’s done. I cannot believe for a second that living on diet shakes or social experiments like “The Biggest Loser” are healthy for a person, not to mention the many studies that show not only is dieting (in the form of calorie restriction) BAD for your long term health, it causes weight gain. Yep, most people who lose weight through calorie restricted diets put the weight back on-with interest.

Imagine if all the “health specialists” and Doctors and society in general worried more about the actual health of a person, not their weight. Imagine if people who’s weight was within the magic BMI had their diets and exercise frequency scrutinized when it came to their health. Imagine eating food that made your body feel good and exercising for the pleasure of moving your body. Imagine never having to see another Woman’s trashy magazine worshiping a celebrity for losing ALL the baby weight in 4 weeks in a grueling diet and exercise regime. Imagine not seeing kilos and pounds put on and taken off as failures and successes but as just what they are.

I feel like somewhat of an expert on this subject. I’ve always been one of the largest fiends in my group-even in high school when I was a “whopping” Australian size 12-14. I’ve felt ashamed of my body and denied myself food as punishment for being so disgusting. I’ve exercised with the sole purpose of shifting those embarrassing kilos-even when I hated it. I’ve lost weight and been giddy with the compliments, I’ve put on weight and felt like a total failure. I’ve been worried about the health of my family based solely on their weight. I’ve avoided sex because I was sure my body would be repulsive. I’ve imagined that bad parts of my life would disappear when the weight did. But saddest of all I have disliked who I am based on how I looked.

I’m the fattest I’ve been in my life (discounting pregnancy but that’s not really fat is it?)and I also feel the most OK with my body. I’m not as happy with my health-but weight and health are NOT synonymous. I’ve been thinner and much more unhealthy than I am now. I need to find time to move my body and get some alone time. There is nothing I am aiming to change about the way I eat. My current goal is to feel fitter and nurture myself more. Screw those who judge me on my size.

This post first appeared on my previous blog “Yay For Home!”
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