The other day I realized I have a few pearls of parenting wisdom under my belt. Most have come to me through trial and error rather than being learned in a book, as most good wisdom is. Today I’m going to share with you my favorite one. The one that I live by.
You will never do it “right” enough for everyone and to someone you will always be doing it wrong.
Does that sound a bit negative? It isn’t supposed to be. In fact it is supposed to be incredibly freeing.
You don’t need to live up to anyone’s ideals of what parenting should look like. You can know that someone is judging you harshly and move on. You can agree with what you feel is right for you and your family and do that, and only that. Leave out the bits that don’t sit well with you or that don’t suit your kids.
The surest way to make bringing up kids a misery for everyone involved is to try to do it to be a part of a club or to fit an ideal. Especially if there are parts that you don’t like and are only doing for show.
This feminist Mama has a daughter that does ballet and wears all the makeup in the concert. This unschooling Mama uses a chart to remind her eldest daughter to practice her reading. This attachment parent has a child who sleeps in a room alone and has done since she was 2. All of these things were initiated at the request of my kids so should I try to work a philosophy on them or go with the flow?
You know I chose go with the flow.
Some people can see you as a cocky know-it-all for choosing to skip the bits you don’t like and forge your own path but like I said, you can’t please everyone. I know that the only thing I’m an expert in is what nourishes us as a family as well as the bits that certainly don’t fit.
So why not free yourself?
Knowing that you can’t win the approval battle means you can focus on your family and what works for everyone. Even if you did everything right by one book that makes it all wrong by another.
Know you are able to write your own book.
“Re-examine all that you have been told-dismiss that which insults your soul” Walt Whitman
I have been known to say that I don’t know how people home educated before the internet. I have Google and You Tube at my disposal and use them frequently. I love You Tube for giving the kids a visual for something I have explained that might be tricky as well as for entertainment and laughs.
We are still laughing about Biscuit the sleepwalking dog.
here are some of our recent You Tube faves
The water cycle song. The teacher who made this up is a genius. My 3 think it’s one of the best things they’ve ever seen and we just stumbled on it after chatting about where rain comes from.
Have you seen the videos from the space station? There is an astronaut named Chris Hadfield who lives on a space station and makes videos of questions that kids have sent him. He is incredibly personable and not condescending and the videos are very interesting. Especially considering Harper wants to be an astronaut.
Here he is brushing his teeth in space.
The Magic Schoolbus is ace. It’s dated and cheesy but we love it and they have episodes on lots of interesting things. Including this one about the weather (clearly there are lots of weather questions here right now!).
You’ve seen Death Star Canteen? It’s our favorite. (language warning)
Where possible I try to make better choices in baking. I try to use a less processed product that still has some health benefits.
I use coconut or rapadura sugar instead of white sugar and cacoa instead of cocoa. I use spelt flour, real butter and eggs from my own chooks.
It means that I sometimes have disasters when trying to substitute. It also means that I often end up with baked goodies that are less sweet, more dense and ones that people not used to my baking turn their noses up at.
BUT THEN I CRACKED THE BROWNIE.
This brownie is super easy, uses real food and is a crowd pleaser.
Preheat the oven to 160degrees
Sift together 2/3 cup spelt flour, 1/3 cup cacoa, 1 cup coconut sugar into a big bowl.
Add 150g melted butter, 2 beaten eggs and a big splash of vanilla.
Mix it all together with a wooden spoon.
Tip the mix into a small slice tin lined with baking paper and bake for 25-35 minutes.
If you can eat it warm with some cream or custard it’s awesome. Otherwise it goes well as a cold sweetie.
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